I am almost certain that my personal dilemma is actually shared by many other homeschooling parents, actually, parents in general. Perhaps, though, it never bothered me, or got my attention before because I only just began to teach my children at home, which means I now have 24/7 knowledge of their thoughts, inner workings, and actions. What is it?? You are asking, I'm sure by now... it is how differently my three children learn.
I have J-8, my eldest and only girl (so far, we have one on her way!), when she was in public school, she was an above average student. She mad honor roll in first and second grade, and kept up with everything that they were teaching, at least in the record books. But at home, she was a different student, she struggled to keep up with remote changes in math homework; when the order of things was slightly altered, she had to revisit the whole concept again in order to do that problem. She was a hard working perfectionist who, after repeated failed attempts, simply gave up trying and began to write anything at all to fill in the answers and get it over with. When I brought it to her teacher's attention, my concern was brushed off with comments on how bright she was, how her grades were all A's and B's, and there was no need to worry until she began failing. But in my opinion, she was failing, or at least, being failed by the system that was meant to address her learning needs.
Than we have J-7, my middle child by one month difference from his step bro. This one is by far my most accelerated learner, enthusiastic, social, and active in mind and body. He was tested in kindergarten to be well into the gifted I.Q. level, and became the first ever in the public school system we were in to be put into gifted classes before 2nd grade. However, his problem lied in his mind being a curse on him.In public school, there was no option to move up a grade, and his boredom began to come out in extreme behavior problems. Doctors denied the possibility of ADHD, despite the very obvious HD part of it being present, haha. Without that diagnosis, teachers, principles, and guidance counselors had no sympathy for his behavior. The biggest issue being that he already knew EVERYTHING that they were teaching him in class, and was talkative and bothersome because of it. Again, the school system failed him where he should have been allowed a chance to excel, he was pinned down like a specimen.
And then there is our third child, Z-7. Z is the youngest,as I mentioned, by one month, but behaviorally he is farther behind than that. Z-7 also was tested and found to be in the gifted level, although his social behaviors and mind are not as honed, rounded out, or polished as his brother's. In fact, Z-7 and J-8 are often thought to be the true blood siblings for their similarities in behavior and learning styles. Z is a math whiz, however, unlike either of the other two (or me, for that matter!), but fails at anything to do with memorization or words for the most part. When we began the homeschool journey, I began to think that he had learning disabilities of some sort because he failed several vocabulary, social studies, and science test in a row. He was getting perfect marks in English, Spanish, and Math, but seemed to have a complete aversion to rote memorization, preferring to guess with inane answers rather than practice and study. It was only after a strict discussion with his father that his grades returned to normal... All it took was some convincing to put forth the effort.
Thus is my dilemma. I am half the way through our school year, and looking forward to the beginning of the year in order to get back into the swing of things, but having faced almost 4 months of schooling my children, I feel I am still at a loss as to how to cater to their three, individual learning needs. When we began schooling this year, I decided to drop my daughter back to the second grade level again, sneakily, of course. I also decided to test out the boys' knowledge and found them to be on the 2nd grade level, as well, so that was our starting point. There have been some dull moments, of course, where J-8 has whizzed through a page or subject because she already knew it (math and abstract concepts being her downfall),memorization has NEVER been an issue for her at all. J-7 has had a much different issue arise; surprisingly, the behavior has been eliminated by addressing his more aggressive learning needs, but now the perfectionist has come out in him. He will understand a concept, but frustrate himself literally to tears trying to make sure that he answers correctly, writes and spells everything right, and that it is all perfect. I don't know how to handle an otherwise strong, confident child when he is reduced to tears and torn paper! And then there is Z-7, which as I mentioned has played quite the lackadaisical approach to the whole homeschool concept.
So what does one do to meet the individual needs of three children when they are all learning on what has been tested out to be the correct education level, and all the same level. If I didn't want the best for my children,. I never would have started schooling them myself, but sometimes I feel that as much as I thought that the schools were failing them, I am also failing them. Is there a middle ground? Is there a way to meet all of the needs of every student? Is that why they fail them??
