Feel free to sing in your best Julie Andrews voice....
I would like to take a moment to ponder the things that have made me glad and proud to homeschool this year.
First, and most important, is the very fact that we have been able to financially afford the opportunity to homeschool our children, and of course, that we will be able to continue doing so next year, and hopefully for years to come.
I am so glad that I have been able to teach my children on their own level, without having time constraints pushing me to rush through things, or having to go along with procedure and due course. My students who excel in school are able to freely learn without being held down, and the ones who have trouble in some areas are able to spend time digesting the new information, or reviewing daily the things that they struggled with. Nothing makes me more happy than knowing that they are getting it.
The grades. Oh, the glorious grades! Can I brag for a moment? My children are doing phenomenal! I have one who has straight A's, two subjects are at a 99 %. Although I don't feel I can really completely claim the glory on that one, there is such a thing as too much ego, haha, I can say that I was at least a part in it. Obviously I have been blessed with three extraordinarily bright children. (And I'm almost certain a little 4 month old will probably follow in her brothers' and sister's footstep on that one.)
No pressure. When I worked, and the kids were in public school, every single morning felt like I was trying to outrun an explosion. I would wake up, feed the kids, and send them to be dressed. Then as we walked out of the door, I would notice someone without socks, or a dress put on backward, or a dirty shirt on them, which would have to be fixed. Then we would run out the door, now late, only to realize one of them had left a backpack , or that in the scramble, I had forgotten to hand out their lunches. So much pressure! But now, if I stay up until midnight, and the baby wakes me every two hours, I can still sleep until 10 to make up for it. The kids have clear outlines on what they can and cannot do in the mornings, if they wake before me. Now it isn't always perfect, or easy, but it is a less better than it was before, I assure you.
Quantity of Quality. Ah, quality time. to adults, it means a lot, to kids, not so much. What children really want is quantity of time. It doesn't matter if you don't talk to them, it doesn't matter if you just sit and have a staring contest, children just want to have time with their parents. As I mentioned in my last part, our time was severly limited when I was working and they were in school. We didn't have time to eat together, it was rush and go in the morning. And forget the evenings! As soon as I got home, it was time for dinner prep, cooking, serving, and eating. Yes, we still had dinner together then, but with no time to relax after work, dinner seemed like a chore rather than decompression. Then it was on to homework, which was so frustrating to help with, which brings me to the next point:
I know what they have and have not learned. There is nothing more frustrating than trying to help my children with homework, and hearing them say "we didn't learn that", or "that isn't how she taught us to do it". I love that I can look at a problem they are having, knowing what they learned, how they learned it, and what I want them to get out of it. This allows me to help them in the way they need it, rather than frustrating and confusing them, and gettign riled up trying to explain a concept.
Control. Control can be a dirty word in a lot of cases, but when it comes to being a parent, it is something you just have to exercise. With my children home with me, I have a lot more control of the things that matter to me most:
1. Environment- No more worry of psychos, perverts, masked gunmen, kidnappers, etc when I can see and hear them at all times. Not that I was particularly obsessive with concern of these things, but you never know these days.
2. Friends/enemies- There have been, in the past, some children that I had to smile with grit teeth at when my kids brought them over to meet me. You know the ones. Kids that cuss, fight, flirt, lie, steal, etc. The bad influences. I don't want my children around role models like that, and I have to wonder if their own personality flaws didn't come from being around those kids. Enemies, woo-boy, I almost climbed on that bus myself a couple of times, but restrained myself. Bullies pray on kids who appear weak, and bullies also appear to the strong to be a way to become stronger. Therefore, I had two kids who were picked on, and one who wanted to join the gang and be a bully. No dice, kiddos.
3. What they learn, and to what length. This is, of course, the very reason that we homeschool, is it not? It means a lot to me to be able to choose what the kids learn, and when , and how much. Just the other day, one of the kids got a book in the library that talked about evolution, I was able to explain our stance on it, instead of some atheist teacher out there telling my child about a theory that we do not adhere to. This also means that I can choose to do true American history starting in 3rd grade, and that my children can become fluent in something like 4 languages before they graduate, if we so desire. And we just might.
4. Their health. Blah, blah, blah, gym class, blah, blah, blah, forced basketball, blah. Health is in my hands, not some one size fits all forced curriculum. So that means that outside time is gym class, and tennis lessons are fun, not forced, and my kids have more of a chance to grow up believing that sports and exercise are a part of life, not just something that they are forced to do once a week in P.E. And on the same bill, health regarding their food is also in my control. Obviously if I had prepared lunch every day when they were in school, it would have been the same, but being an imperfect mother, that just didn't happen. so my kids ate things like fried chicken nuggets, pizza, and macaroni and cheese. Every day. Uh... variety, people. There is nothing wrong with that in moderation, but I believe that sometimes chocolate milk should just not be an option, that macaroni and potatoes shouldn't be the only sides they eat.
And so on, and so forth. All of that being said, I am just so grateful for this chance. I am so proud of what we have accomplished this year, and as time goes on, we only get better, and more diverse, and more organized. Homeschooling a family is just like a garden, when you spend time watering it, nourishing it, feeding it good things, and weeding the bad,life sucking things out, all you are going to get is bigger, better, and more beautiful fruit from it. And we may not be there yet, but this little garden is growing and laying down its roots!
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Desperation- Not Just a Stephen King Book
So I just got done sending out a mass email to my local homeschool group, updating them on my current phone numbers, and not so slightly hinting that I want them to use those phone numbers this summer to set up playdates with my children. As soon as I hit "send", I had a momentary freak-out, wondering if I had crossed a line, or if I appeared too desperate, but then I realized that perhaps sometimes reaching out in desperation is alright. Here is why:
- My children need friends. This is the most important reason for my desperation. Since moving here 8 months ago, my kids have been exposed to only one consistent group of children, and that is the homeschool group. Other than that, there was a few months at one church that I later decided was not the right home for us. Even that did not produce any promising relationships for them. We have been "church-hopping" in hopes of finding a place that suits not only them but us spiritually, and even if that means losing out on opportunities for deep relationships, it is what is best for all of us in the long run.
- I need friends. It may seem like that has nothing to do with my children having friends, but it really does. Consider this, if my children do not make nice with other kids, I won't have the chance to make nice with those kids' parents. I can't assure that the children my kids decide to befriend will actually have parents that I will get along with as well, but hey, it is a start.
- I need a break. If I promise playdates at my house, I can only hope that they will be reciprocated elsewhere. Have you ever tried spending 14 hours a day with no one but your mother to talk to on the phone, wrangling three rambunctious children, and one fussy infant... every day. With no end in sight? My poor husband comes home every night to a screaming, crying, blubbering baby... who just so happens to be 27 years old. It gets old. And I get tired. So Mama needs a break every now and then.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
The Action vs. The Quiet
It is 10:00 p.m. and the baby is sleeping, the kids are snoring, the cat is lying on the floor watching me, and I am sitting in front of this white screen. It amazes me how different things appear when you are not in the middle of The Action.
Right now, in The Quiet, I am peaceful and relaxed. Everything around me makes me feel grateful- the sweet dark eyelashes of my little girls fluttering on their cheekbones, the twitching and arm flailing and murmured sleep talking of my boys, even the sound of the air conditioning running is peaceful! I can step out of this moment, and look at it and think to myself just how darn lucky I am for these kids, for this house, for this life. the thing is though, I am not in the middle of The Action.
The Action is another story altogether. It is a time where there is NOISE and MOTION and CHAOS! The Action is the time when the baby is squalling- for no apparent reason- the boys are screaming at one another, and there is some loud thumping coming from their room that sounds suspiciously like a wrestling match, my daughter has just slammed her door at me because she didn't like the chore I have assigned her, and the cat has somehow gotten locked in a hall closet.... The Action. The time when my brain feels like it is on fire. My heart has palpitations similar to a an angry canary beating itself against its cage. My voice isn't pleasant, no, in fact I sound as though I have been possessed as I scream and cry out for the peace... that only seems to come after bedtime.
Yes, my life is a contradiction. I have a split personality life. But all I want is to find that middle ground! I know there must be some way to do it, some way to find peace during The Action, to find the appreciation that I can only feel later, when it is calm. And perhaps I will find it some day. I am working on it. I take solace in the fact that I know that God gave me this life for a reason. Somehow, my all-knowing Godthought knew I could handle it. So because of my faith in Him, I will continue to live my two lives until some day they converge into one. A life that will have Quiet, and Action, but will mostly be Peace.
The Action is another story altogether. It is a time where there is NOISE and MOTION and CHAOS! The Action is the time when the baby is squalling- for no apparent reason- the boys are screaming at one another, and there is some loud thumping coming from their room that sounds suspiciously like a wrestling match, my daughter has just slammed her door at me because she didn't like the chore I have assigned her, and the cat has somehow gotten locked in a hall closet.... The Action. The time when my brain feels like it is on fire. My heart has palpitations similar to a an angry canary beating itself against its cage. My voice isn't pleasant, no, in fact I sound as though I have been possessed as I scream and cry out for the peace... that only seems to come after bedtime.
Yes, my life is a contradiction. I have a split personality life. But all I want is to find that middle ground! I know there must be some way to do it, some way to find peace during The Action, to find the appreciation that I can only feel later, when it is calm. And perhaps I will find it some day. I am working on it. I take solace in the fact that I know that God gave me this life for a reason. Somehow, my all-knowing God
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Order in the Court...er...Class
So, as you know, this is my very first year homeschooling my children. There have been ups and downs, but it has been a tremendous learning experience. Most of the obstacles that I have come to have been things that I could learn a new way to do, find a different approach, or just stop doing altogether. But there is this one thing... classroom order. I don't know how teachers do it! I certainly don't know how other homeschooling parents do it. Maybe it is because I have three children learning at the same time, but my biggest obstacle in the learning/teaching process is trying to get my children to treat it like school.
Now some people might not take the same approach that I do when it comes to homeschool, which is why it is difficult to get suggestions from other homeschooling parents. Our approach is a school-at-home atmosphere. We use a scheduled day, planned out with timeslots and planned breaks. We use some textbooks, and some worksheets, as well as implementing other learning resources such as videos and the web. My children don't choose what they are going to learn about, or at what pace... I do, because I am the teacher. However, we don't necessarily follow structure to a tee. sometimes we start school at 11. Sometimes we skip a subject or two. Sometimes we trade a week day for a Saturday school day. So I am flexible when it comes to routine sometimes, because I understand that it can become obsessive, and one of the things that I hated about public school was the fact that they could not slow down in order to help a struggling student, whereas I can.
So back to my issue. We have school-at-home, but my children don't respect that atmosphere. I have two children who strike up random conversation out loud in the middle of a lesson,therefore distracting their siblings, and getting me off subject. I have one who likes to answer her brother's questions for them, instead of letting ME answer them. I have one who thinks it is funny to roll all over the floor, and do headstands and back bends rather than focusing on the task at hand. I have tried the whole yardstick pop from my chair, yelling, begging, threatening, but to no avail. They continue to treat school as though it is an afterthought. They continue to ask me if we are done after every single subject. They continue to get up and run down the hall to their rooms if they are done with something while someone else is finishing their paper. How on earth do people handle this problem??
Now some people might not take the same approach that I do when it comes to homeschool, which is why it is difficult to get suggestions from other homeschooling parents. Our approach is a school-at-home atmosphere. We use a scheduled day, planned out with timeslots and planned breaks. We use some textbooks, and some worksheets, as well as implementing other learning resources such as videos and the web. My children don't choose what they are going to learn about, or at what pace... I do, because I am the teacher. However, we don't necessarily follow structure to a tee. sometimes we start school at 11. Sometimes we skip a subject or two. Sometimes we trade a week day for a Saturday school day. So I am flexible when it comes to routine sometimes, because I understand that it can become obsessive, and one of the things that I hated about public school was the fact that they could not slow down in order to help a struggling student, whereas I can.
So back to my issue. We have school-at-home, but my children don't respect that atmosphere. I have two children who strike up random conversation out loud in the middle of a lesson,therefore distracting their siblings, and getting me off subject. I have one who likes to answer her brother's questions for them, instead of letting ME answer them. I have one who thinks it is funny to roll all over the floor, and do headstands and back bends rather than focusing on the task at hand. I have tried the whole yardstick pop from my chair, yelling, begging, threatening, but to no avail. They continue to treat school as though it is an afterthought. They continue to ask me if we are done after every single subject. They continue to get up and run down the hall to their rooms if they are done with something while someone else is finishing their paper. How on earth do people handle this problem??
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
A Half-way Point, and a Home Stretch
We have officially reached the half-way point in this first year of homeschooling, and I am satisfied. To say that I had high expectations for the outcome of this school year would be an understatement. I researched, collected data, saved websites to my browser, printed pages, took notes, and even made mock-schedules for over two years before we became financially capable of homeschooling. I had more than enough time to create a picture-perfect image in my mind of what a typical day would be like in the Morris Family Schoolhouse. I had it down to the curriculum, the way my desk would be organized, and the way that my children would look adoringly at me with looks of gratefulness in their eyes.... (insert record scratch noise here)
When we first began this journey, it was a last minute realization. We had just moved across-country, and removed our children from the public school system in the process. The decision to move had only been finalized a month before we actually did move, so that, combined with the stress of moving, AND finding out that we were expecting was quite the transition. Once we arrived at our new home, we realized that choosing a rental sight-unseen was not the wisest of options, when we found that it was less than half the size of our other home, and therefore we were squeeeeeezed into a tiny house with a crazy mixture of boxes, furniture, and personal effects. The homeschooling had to be,like our home, a jumbled mess of mixing curriculum choices and materials, mainly because the move itself had run our fiscal resources into the ground. So we began with me copying things by hand, three times over, from online sources to hand out to the children. We also began (and unfortunately currently continue)teaching from our living room/bedroom, where my computer and television reside (since we could not fit our bedroom suit into any of the bedrooms!)To say that it was stressful would not even touch it...but there was a light at the end of the tunnel...
Several weeks into school, I was able to make some changes to both curriculum and function. We finally got a printer/copier, which is literally a gift from God!! And I was able to purchase a few books that I can use this year that will make teaching more structured, which both me and the children need! We have found a great homeschool group, and although we have somewhat struggled to fit in, I believe we are finally making some good, lasting relationships that will benefit the whole family. The list goes on and on. I believe that we are finally breaking into a comfortable routine that fits my need for lots of rest (that is the home stretch... baby Anneliese is due within weeks!!), fits the children's needs to have breaks and yet stay focused and on task when needed, and is flexible enough that if I end up spending half of my day running surprise errands, we can still manage to get our school day done. I feel that even just since we began, I have been able to understand better each of the kiddo's learning styles, as well as their individual strong and weak points. This insight alone makes me feel like I know my children that much better. It is a shame that I realize now, how much of my babies I was giving to other people. I spent a few hours a day knowing little details about them, what they liked, who they admired,etc... but I was missing essential chunks of WHO THEY WERE. That is an amazing thing that I was missing out on.
So, in essence, I am amazed at how well this has gone for us all. I am so glad that we made this choice to homeschool, and I am so blessed that God gave us the opportunity to do so.
When we first began this journey, it was a last minute realization. We had just moved across-country, and removed our children from the public school system in the process. The decision to move had only been finalized a month before we actually did move, so that, combined with the stress of moving, AND finding out that we were expecting was quite the transition. Once we arrived at our new home, we realized that choosing a rental sight-unseen was not the wisest of options, when we found that it was less than half the size of our other home, and therefore we were squeeeeeezed into a tiny house with a crazy mixture of boxes, furniture, and personal effects. The homeschooling had to be,like our home, a jumbled mess of mixing curriculum choices and materials, mainly because the move itself had run our fiscal resources into the ground. So we began with me copying things by hand, three times over, from online sources to hand out to the children. We also began (and unfortunately currently continue)teaching from our living room/bedroom, where my computer and television reside (since we could not fit our bedroom suit into any of the bedrooms!)To say that it was stressful would not even touch it...but there was a light at the end of the tunnel...
Several weeks into school, I was able to make some changes to both curriculum and function. We finally got a printer/copier, which is literally a gift from God!! And I was able to purchase a few books that I can use this year that will make teaching more structured, which both me and the children need! We have found a great homeschool group, and although we have somewhat struggled to fit in, I believe we are finally making some good, lasting relationships that will benefit the whole family. The list goes on and on. I believe that we are finally breaking into a comfortable routine that fits my need for lots of rest (that is the home stretch... baby Anneliese is due within weeks!!), fits the children's needs to have breaks and yet stay focused and on task when needed, and is flexible enough that if I end up spending half of my day running surprise errands, we can still manage to get our school day done. I feel that even just since we began, I have been able to understand better each of the kiddo's learning styles, as well as their individual strong and weak points. This insight alone makes me feel like I know my children that much better. It is a shame that I realize now, how much of my babies I was giving to other people. I spent a few hours a day knowing little details about them, what they liked, who they admired,etc... but I was missing essential chunks of WHO THEY WERE. That is an amazing thing that I was missing out on.
So, in essence, I am amazed at how well this has gone for us all. I am so glad that we made this choice to homeschool, and I am so blessed that God gave us the opportunity to do so.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Loving the Undesirable
Confession time. There are some things about my children that are rather... undesirable. Not cute. Not endearing. And sometimes downright embarrassing. There, I said it. I hope that God doesn't strike me down for that, after all, they are wonderfully and perfectly made in His image. But I just have to question why human perfection and Godly perfection have to differ so drastically.
You know the moments and behaviors I am talking about if you have even one child. The ones that are almost assuredly going to manifest in public... in front of people that you admire... or people that you are trying to get to know.... yeah, you know the ones. The event that led to this particular article took place recently in a doctors office. There we were, a portrait of a well-rounded family (I of course, being the roundest), the four of us, me with the children in tow, just walking into the doctor's office. and then.... one of my children decide that they are going to channel a mentally challenged person and limp-drag their feet as they duck-walked through the lobby. So then I get the sad eyed expressions of the parents waiting, as though they are sympathetic of my situation, me, pregnant with three kids, one who is obviously (to them at least) mentally slow. Oy vey. Really kid??
This is not the first time, or only symptom of weirdness I have gotten to experience in public either. There are, of course, the times that one or more child has gone up to random strangers and asked horrifying questions, or sat in their laps, or got close enough to kiss... I have to say that more than once I have been humiliated, and completely without a logical explanation to give. Why do they do this to me?? I swear I think that it is all a conspiracy to take me out at an early age... like by 28, perhaps? I already have enough silver hair to weave a lovely sweater with at this point... so unfair.
The struggle here is learning to accept the embarrassment, something I'm not sure I can do. I mean, I can tell myself that I will probably not ever see these people again, and if I do, I doubt they have the memory capacity to say, oh that is that lady with the weird kids. So the next time my child walks up to a lady in the grocery store and starts barking and panting in her face, I should just, you know, grab them and walk away quickly... right??
You know the moments and behaviors I am talking about if you have even one child. The ones that are almost assuredly going to manifest in public... in front of people that you admire... or people that you are trying to get to know.... yeah, you know the ones. The event that led to this particular article took place recently in a doctors office. There we were, a portrait of a well-rounded family (I of course, being the roundest), the four of us, me with the children in tow, just walking into the doctor's office. and then.... one of my children decide that they are going to channel a mentally challenged person and limp-drag their feet as they duck-walked through the lobby. So then I get the sad eyed expressions of the parents waiting, as though they are sympathetic of my situation, me, pregnant with three kids, one who is obviously (to them at least) mentally slow. Oy vey. Really kid??
This is not the first time, or only symptom of weirdness I have gotten to experience in public either. There are, of course, the times that one or more child has gone up to random strangers and asked horrifying questions, or sat in their laps, or got close enough to kiss... I have to say that more than once I have been humiliated, and completely without a logical explanation to give. Why do they do this to me?? I swear I think that it is all a conspiracy to take me out at an early age... like by 28, perhaps? I already have enough silver hair to weave a lovely sweater with at this point... so unfair.
The struggle here is learning to accept the embarrassment, something I'm not sure I can do. I mean, I can tell myself that I will probably not ever see these people again, and if I do, I doubt they have the memory capacity to say, oh that is that lady with the weird kids. So the next time my child walks up to a lady in the grocery store and starts barking and panting in her face, I should just, you know, grab them and walk away quickly... right??
Thursday, December 29, 2011
The Dilemma
I am almost certain that my personal dilemma is actually shared by many other homeschooling parents, actually, parents in general. Perhaps, though, it never bothered me, or got my attention before because I only just began to teach my children at home, which means I now have 24/7 knowledge of their thoughts, inner workings, and actions. What is it?? You are asking, I'm sure by now... it is how differently my three children learn.
I have J-8, my eldest and only girl (so far, we have one on her way!), when she was in public school, she was an above average student. She mad honor roll in first and second grade, and kept up with everything that they were teaching, at least in the record books. But at home, she was a different student, she struggled to keep up with remote changes in math homework; when the order of things was slightly altered, she had to revisit the whole concept again in order to do that problem. She was a hard working perfectionist who, after repeated failed attempts, simply gave up trying and began to write anything at all to fill in the answers and get it over with. When I brought it to her teacher's attention, my concern was brushed off with comments on how bright she was, how her grades were all A's and B's, and there was no need to worry until she began failing. But in my opinion, she was failing, or at least, being failed by the system that was meant to address her learning needs.
Than we have J-7, my middle child by one month difference from his step bro. This one is by far my most accelerated learner, enthusiastic, social, and active in mind and body. He was tested in kindergarten to be well into the gifted I.Q. level, and became the first ever in the public school system we were in to be put into gifted classes before 2nd grade. However, his problem lied in his mind being a curse on him.In public school, there was no option to move up a grade, and his boredom began to come out in extreme behavior problems. Doctors denied the possibility of ADHD, despite the very obvious HD part of it being present, haha. Without that diagnosis, teachers, principles, and guidance counselors had no sympathy for his behavior. The biggest issue being that he already knew EVERYTHING that they were teaching him in class, and was talkative and bothersome because of it. Again, the school system failed him where he should have been allowed a chance to excel, he was pinned down like a specimen.
And then there is our third child, Z-7. Z is the youngest,as I mentioned, by one month, but behaviorally he is farther behind than that. Z-7 also was tested and found to be in the gifted level, although his social behaviors and mind are not as honed, rounded out, or polished as his brother's. In fact, Z-7 and J-8 are often thought to be the true blood siblings for their similarities in behavior and learning styles. Z is a math whiz, however, unlike either of the other two (or me, for that matter!), but fails at anything to do with memorization or words for the most part. When we began the homeschool journey, I began to think that he had learning disabilities of some sort because he failed several vocabulary, social studies, and science test in a row. He was getting perfect marks in English, Spanish, and Math, but seemed to have a complete aversion to rote memorization, preferring to guess with inane answers rather than practice and study. It was only after a strict discussion with his father that his grades returned to normal... All it took was some convincing to put forth the effort.
Thus is my dilemma. I am half the way through our school year, and looking forward to the beginning of the year in order to get back into the swing of things, but having faced almost 4 months of schooling my children, I feel I am still at a loss as to how to cater to their three, individual learning needs. When we began schooling this year, I decided to drop my daughter back to the second grade level again, sneakily, of course. I also decided to test out the boys' knowledge and found them to be on the 2nd grade level, as well, so that was our starting point. There have been some dull moments, of course, where J-8 has whizzed through a page or subject because she already knew it (math and abstract concepts being her downfall),memorization has NEVER been an issue for her at all. J-7 has had a much different issue arise; surprisingly, the behavior has been eliminated by addressing his more aggressive learning needs, but now the perfectionist has come out in him. He will understand a concept, but frustrate himself literally to tears trying to make sure that he answers correctly, writes and spells everything right, and that it is all perfect. I don't know how to handle an otherwise strong, confident child when he is reduced to tears and torn paper! And then there is Z-7, which as I mentioned has played quite the lackadaisical approach to the whole homeschool concept.
So what does one do to meet the individual needs of three children when they are all learning on what has been tested out to be the correct education level, and all the same level. If I didn't want the best for my children,. I never would have started schooling them myself, but sometimes I feel that as much as I thought that the schools were failing them, I am also failing them. Is there a middle ground? Is there a way to meet all of the needs of every student? Is that why they fail them??
I have J-8, my eldest and only girl (so far, we have one on her way!), when she was in public school, she was an above average student. She mad honor roll in first and second grade, and kept up with everything that they were teaching, at least in the record books. But at home, she was a different student, she struggled to keep up with remote changes in math homework; when the order of things was slightly altered, she had to revisit the whole concept again in order to do that problem. She was a hard working perfectionist who, after repeated failed attempts, simply gave up trying and began to write anything at all to fill in the answers and get it over with. When I brought it to her teacher's attention, my concern was brushed off with comments on how bright she was, how her grades were all A's and B's, and there was no need to worry until she began failing. But in my opinion, she was failing, or at least, being failed by the system that was meant to address her learning needs.
Than we have J-7, my middle child by one month difference from his step bro. This one is by far my most accelerated learner, enthusiastic, social, and active in mind and body. He was tested in kindergarten to be well into the gifted I.Q. level, and became the first ever in the public school system we were in to be put into gifted classes before 2nd grade. However, his problem lied in his mind being a curse on him.In public school, there was no option to move up a grade, and his boredom began to come out in extreme behavior problems. Doctors denied the possibility of ADHD, despite the very obvious HD part of it being present, haha. Without that diagnosis, teachers, principles, and guidance counselors had no sympathy for his behavior. The biggest issue being that he already knew EVERYTHING that they were teaching him in class, and was talkative and bothersome because of it. Again, the school system failed him where he should have been allowed a chance to excel, he was pinned down like a specimen.
And then there is our third child, Z-7. Z is the youngest,as I mentioned, by one month, but behaviorally he is farther behind than that. Z-7 also was tested and found to be in the gifted level, although his social behaviors and mind are not as honed, rounded out, or polished as his brother's. In fact, Z-7 and J-8 are often thought to be the true blood siblings for their similarities in behavior and learning styles. Z is a math whiz, however, unlike either of the other two (or me, for that matter!), but fails at anything to do with memorization or words for the most part. When we began the homeschool journey, I began to think that he had learning disabilities of some sort because he failed several vocabulary, social studies, and science test in a row. He was getting perfect marks in English, Spanish, and Math, but seemed to have a complete aversion to rote memorization, preferring to guess with inane answers rather than practice and study. It was only after a strict discussion with his father that his grades returned to normal... All it took was some convincing to put forth the effort.
Thus is my dilemma. I am half the way through our school year, and looking forward to the beginning of the year in order to get back into the swing of things, but having faced almost 4 months of schooling my children, I feel I am still at a loss as to how to cater to their three, individual learning needs. When we began schooling this year, I decided to drop my daughter back to the second grade level again, sneakily, of course. I also decided to test out the boys' knowledge and found them to be on the 2nd grade level, as well, so that was our starting point. There have been some dull moments, of course, where J-8 has whizzed through a page or subject because she already knew it (math and abstract concepts being her downfall),memorization has NEVER been an issue for her at all. J-7 has had a much different issue arise; surprisingly, the behavior has been eliminated by addressing his more aggressive learning needs, but now the perfectionist has come out in him. He will understand a concept, but frustrate himself literally to tears trying to make sure that he answers correctly, writes and spells everything right, and that it is all perfect. I don't know how to handle an otherwise strong, confident child when he is reduced to tears and torn paper! And then there is Z-7, which as I mentioned has played quite the lackadaisical approach to the whole homeschool concept.
So what does one do to meet the individual needs of three children when they are all learning on what has been tested out to be the correct education level, and all the same level. If I didn't want the best for my children,. I never would have started schooling them myself, but sometimes I feel that as much as I thought that the schools were failing them, I am also failing them. Is there a middle ground? Is there a way to meet all of the needs of every student? Is that why they fail them??
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